1
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Dear Diary...
2
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,901
go fuck yourself.
3
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,408
Just kidding. I don't know what to write
in this stupid thing.
4
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,580
Anyway, hi.
5
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:40,957
My name is Sydney.
6
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I'm a boring 17-year-old white girl.
7
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I'm not special,
is what I'm trying to say,
8
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and I'm okay with that.
9
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,639
-We moved to Pennsylvania two years ago.
10
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And not, like, a cute part
of Pennsylvania either,
11
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but corn and cabbage and shit.
12
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Like, my town's won the grand prize
for most polluted air in America
13
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for a bunch of years in a row now, so...
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-...yippee.
15
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Ms. Cappriotti made me promise to do this.
16
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Promise you'll do this.
17
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She said it might help with my moods.
18
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It might help with your moods.
19
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I keep losing my temper.
20
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-I don't want to, but it just spills out.
21
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It's 'cause my dad
sort of died... last spring.
22
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So I'm supposed to write... what, now?
I don't get it.
23
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Anything. Everything.
24
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Whatever comes to mind.
25
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And now no one knows what to say to me.
26
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Think of it like
you're just talking to yourself
27
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and no one will ever read it but you.
28
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Not even the guidance counselor.
29
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Can I just...
30
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use my phone?
31
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,615
Hmm... Your phone'll be distracting.
Don't you think?
32
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I'd like you to have something
a little more...
33
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therapeutic.
34
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,497
These things are never easy,
35
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,542
but I do want you to at least attempt
36
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:09,087
to have a normal high school experience.
37
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I mean, she's pretty all right, I guess.
38
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Even if she does smell like an old hippie.
39
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Anyway, here's to
a normal high school experience,
40
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whatever the fuck that means.
41
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,686
And yes, during arousal, there is
an increase in all sorts of things,
42
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,814
including adrenaline
and, of course, blood flow,
43
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,858
and the blood flow continues down
44
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:33,027
and then gets trapped within
the corpora cavernosa.
45
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The penis expands,
and this is how the Homo sapien male
46
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is able to hold an erection.
47
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Yes.
48
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,664
From my experience, Mr. File,
49
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,749
the holding of an erection
is far more successful
50
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,418
in the hands of a Homo sapien female.
51
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,005
Very funny, Mr. Lewis.
52
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Just talkin' science.
53
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Moving on.
54
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,926
When a female gets sexually excited,
55
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there is also increased blood flow
56
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-to the genitals...
-Ah. Oh, come on, fire crotch.
57
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-Laugh. That was funny.
- ...proceeds to swell.
58
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Why is all this happening?
59
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,269
-Your scrotum looks different than others.
60
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That's an asymmetrical scrotum.
61
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- My best friend is Dina.
-Having one is not at all unusual.
62
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She's such a badass.
63
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Normally, I don't think
she'd choose me as a friend,
64
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but we both moved here
around the same time.
65
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Both the new kids in town, you know,
so, guess I kinda lucked out.
66
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:30,293
Before Dina, I mostly just kept to myself.
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I'm not the kind of person
that likes attention, really,
68
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but she has this way about her that...
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00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,092
she just makes me feel different.
70
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She was with me
when I found out about my dad.
71
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Okay. You ready?
72
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-She held my hand.
-One, two...
73
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We cried.
74
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:49,854
And now, since then, she keeps me laughing
75
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,981
when all I wanna do
is melt into the floor.
76
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:57,445
Which sort of made me realize
I've never had a best friend before.
77
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:08,039
So, I'm standing there,
trying to get by, and he's all like,
78
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"Oh, who's the new girl in town?"
79
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And I'm like, "Shut up. It's me, Dina."
80
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Wait, this is Brad... Lewis?
81
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,047
Yeah.
82
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,341
He's sort of sweet, you know?
83
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,428
And then he asked me to homecoming.
84
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,850
Wait, and... and you accepted?
85
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,937
No. I told him to take his washboard abs
and chiseled jawline
86
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and get out of my face.
87
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Yeah, of course I said yes.
88
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Uh-- Oh, my God.
You had sex with him, didn't you?
89
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-Holy shit.
90
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No way! Holy shit!
91
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,078
You gave Bradley Lewis your V-card?
92
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Shh...
93
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-Tell me he used a condom, because--
-Yes, of course.
94
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I know.
95
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Dina just got her braces off,
and her boobs suddenly arrived.
96
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,631
So, of course, golden boy Bradley Lewis
takes notice.
97
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,133
So, what, are you guys, like,
98
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,218
suddenly girlfriend and boyfriend
or something?
99
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,138
I mean,
we haven't put a label on it yet, but...
100
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,977
I really like him, okay?
101
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,479
This is the worst.
102
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,315
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Sure, I get it.
103
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Just give him a chance.
104
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:23,823
Oh, come on, there's gotta be someone
you sort of like. Just a little.
105
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I don't know. I just guess
I haven't really thought about it.
106
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Well, think about it.
107
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:35,335
And then maybe we can all go to homecoming
together, like a double date thing.
108
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,171
-Hey, babe.
-Hey!
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Sorry I'm late.
110
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-All good, babe.
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Ugh. They both call each other "babe."
Kill me right now.
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Hey, Syd.
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Bradley.
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Do you think your mom could hook us up
with some burgers?
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They're just so great here.
116
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Huh. She's not working today.
117
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I was just asking.
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Okay.
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Want a burger, Brad?
Let's get a burger.
120
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I've got some cash.
121
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- Yeah?
-Yeah.
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-Wanna share one, babe?
-Yeah. Oh, ketchup.
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Help yourself.
124
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So...
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Dina's just great, isn't she?
126
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Mm-hmm.
127
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Jesus, do you ever smile?
128
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Not today.
129
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So, what have we decided?
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Whatever you want, babe.
131
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-Please. Please stop.
-You gotta try one of these fries.
132
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-I wish you would just stop talking.
133
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Wipe that smug smile
off his stupid, stupid face.
134
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,737
-Oh, shit.
- Oh, my God.
135
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,114
Oh, fuck.
136
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,740
- Are you okay?
-Wait. What?
137
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,200
Yeah, fine. Just give me a minute.
138
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:52,036
- Take a tissue.
- Gimme a minute, all right?
139
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,333
So, here's the deal.
140
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,919
Today, I almost convinced myself
141
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that I made Bradley Lewis's nose bleed
142
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,006
with my mind.
143
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,675
Right.
144
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,262
Mostly, I just need to chill out more.
145
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,890
I am not losing my first and only
very best friend ever.
146
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:14,851
I'm happy for Dina,
147
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,312
and if dating Bradley Dickhead Lewis
makes her happy,
148
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,605
then I guess I'm okay with it.
149
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,690
Oh, hey, Syd!
150
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:25,528
Hey.
151
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,363
Stanley Barber.
152
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,866
He lives down the street from me.
153
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:33,244
Where I feel shitty about
basically everything about myself,
154
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Stan is the master of zero fucks.
155
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,915
Oh, my leg fell asleep. One sec.
156
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Aah.
157
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,341
Can I walk with you?
158
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Sure. Why not?
159
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,012
Cool.
160
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,432
Cool.
161
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,977
Stan is kind of... weird.
162
00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,270
You okay?
163
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Shoes. Who needs 'em?
164
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,778
Uh... so, Bloodwitch, am I right?
165
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What?
166
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,574
Bloodwitch. You like their music?
167
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,910
That's a... terrible name for a band.
168
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,037
Nah. Perfect.
169
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,247
Bet they sound like shit.
170
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,002
Well, I mean, I have--
I have 'em on vinyl...
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00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,631
limited edition, gatefold and stuff,
172
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,884
if you wanna... come over,
and we can listen sometime.
173
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,302
Oh.
174
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,721
We can get high.
175
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,640
I have never been high before.
176
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,267
Yeah, maybe.
177
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,269
I mean, you don't have to.
178
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,604
I was-- I was just, you know...
179
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,608
We-- You know, we live so close,
and we've never really hung out before.
180
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,697
Uh, no, I guess we haven't.
181
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,495
But, yeah. Uh, maybe we should.
182
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,163
Yeah.
183
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,957
Cool. Uh...
184
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,000
Let me know.
185
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,174
What a world we live in, Sydney.
186
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,858
I live with my mom and little brother.
187
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,777
Sydney! Is that you?
188
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,571
Mom and I haven't been
getting along lately.
189
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,240
Nope. It's an axe murderer.
Good thing you asked.
190
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,576
Ha-ha! Very funny.
191
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:42,873
Hey. So apparently, Karen's dog
ran through a screen door or something,
192
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,543
so she had to go to an emergency vet.
193
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,546
-Okay.
-So I'm gonna pick up her shift tonight,
194
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:52,633
which is fine 'cause I owe her two shifts
from the time Liam ate all that cheese.
195
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,637
Well, thanks for telling me
your life story, Mom.
196
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,348
No. Wait, come back here.
I'm not done yet. Eyes on me.
197
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,102
Okay. Question. Big question.
198
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,687
Have you seen my stockings?
199
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,523
They were in the bathroom.
They were hanging over the shower curtain?
200
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,026
Oh, sorry. I thought they were dirty.
201
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,528
-No, they were drying.
-Well, I found them in the bathtub.
202
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,364
D-- Well, where are they?
They're my last pair.
203
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:17,533
I sort of...
204
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,201
washed 'em.
205
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,911
Wait. In the washer?
206
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,165
Yeah, and I guess they sort of ended up
in the dryer, so...
207
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,544
Oh, great.
208
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,423
Now I get to feel like sausage
while I'm serving it.
209
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,843
You don't really have to wear 'em,
do you? No one wears 'em anymore.
210
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,887
-Like, since the '90s.
- Can you--
211
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:41,265
Can you just make sure that Liam
does his homework and eats some dinner?
212
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,601
Isn't he old enough to make sure himself?
213
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:49,815
Sydney, can you just do something for me,
anything, just once, without questioning?
214
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,402
Here I thought I was being so charming.
215
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,112
Nope. Not even a little bit.
216
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,823
Really doesn't matter
what we're talking about.
217
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,034
--Mom and I could sit in silence
218
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:03,537
for the rest of our lives,
and she'd still annoy the crap out of me.
219
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,921
Hey, Goob. Done your homework yet?
220
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:12,922
Hours ago.
221
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,091
Soon as I got home. What about you?
222
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,469
Uh... I'll get to it.
223
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:24,266
Come on, Syd. Mom says you have
to work hard if you're gonna succeed.
224
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,730
Yeah, well, the plan's always been for me
to sit back and watch you succeed, Goob.
225
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,649
Oh, hey, who knows?
226
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,943
Maybe one day,
if you really work hard enough,
227
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,196
you get to be the one
to pay for my funeral.
228
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,491
-How was school today?
-Well, um...
229
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,328
Richard Rynard
punched Toby Gardner in the face,
230
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,831
and he got sent to Mr. Coffee's office.
231
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:47,790
Oh, yeah?
232
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,837
Yup, and I think I might be next, so...
I'm devising a plan. Check it out.
233
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,590
Holy shit, Goob. Is that for you?
234
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,426
Yup. Designed it myself.
235
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,178
Breastplate, shin guards, spiked gloves...
236
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,764
But I'm not so sure about
the helmet situation just yet,
237
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,726
'cause I don't wanna block
my peripherals, you know, just in case.
238
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,937
It's really cool, man.
It's some of your best work yet.
239
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,605
Yeah, it's basically my Mark One,
240
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,858
and the first suit's
always the hardest to design,
241
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,901
so it's still a work in progress.
242
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,195
And, sorry, what was the plan again?
243
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,282
Well, I'm gonna build the suit
and kick Richard Rynard's ass.
244
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,659
Oh. Vengeance.
245
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,660
Got it.
246
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:29,665
My family.
247
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,209
I guess we've never had a lot of money.
248
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,963
Like, every place we moved,
and we've moved a lot,
249
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,715
it's always some place like this.
250
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:39,884
It's like a lottery, I guess.
251
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,179
Some kids win big time
the moment they're born.
252
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,514
The rest of us,
253
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:49,769
we're all stuck with scratch-offs
and bottle caps and shit.
254
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,904
-Liam?
255
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:00,905
Yeah?
256
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,618
If Richard Rynard ever touches you...
257
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,704
before you get your suit built
to kick his ass,
258
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,957
I'll pull his throat out...
259
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,419
with my bare hands
right in front of Mr. Coffee.
260
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,087
Really?
261
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,923
Yeah. Yeah, like this.
262
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,675
-You are so weird.
263
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,093
Yeah, I know.
264
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,264
Okay, so... confession.
265
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,934
I started getting these zits on my thighs.
266
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,936
-I am straight up disgusting.
267
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:43,531
I've tried zit cream and soap
and all sorts of junk.
268
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:44,990
Nothing helps.
269
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,743
-They're not even that fun to pop.
270
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,537
Stop!
271
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,083
It's probably just puberty.
272
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:56,752
I don't know.
273
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,273
So, Stanley Barber texted me.
274
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,942
-He made me listen to Bloodwitch.
275
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,531
Sometimes at night,
I want to touch myself,
276
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,200
but I don't.
277
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,538
Peanut butter helps.
278
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,751
...always in a fast-food rut,
279
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,920
or buying and not cooking it.
280
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,671
Millions have discovered the secret...
281
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,549
The later Mom gets home,
the more wine she drinks.
282
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,469
What are we watching?
283
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,429
Don't know.
284
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:31,805
...to the original...
285
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,601
We haven't talked about Dad
since he killed himself in the basement.
286
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:37,519
AC's broken.
287
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:41,023
The unit's probably just... overheated.
288
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,651
It's hot as balls in this house.
289
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,653
Open a window.
290
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,406
It's that heavy thing
we're all too afraid to talk about.
291
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:53,577
I got called in...
to the counselor's office.
292
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,372
-Why? What did-- what did you do?
-Nothing.
293
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,124
She just...
294
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:05,005
She wants me to have, like...
an outlet or something.
295
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,967
An outlet for what?
296
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,433
Just, sometimes it feels like...
297
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,690
the people I love don't love me back.
298
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,777
Well...
299
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,531
Maybe you're aiming too high, hon.
300
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,627
She's such a bitch sometimes.
301
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,587
Dad would have understood,
302
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,464
but he hung himself,
303
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,299
so I guess I'm on my own.
304
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,433
Sometimes I wonder why he did it,
305
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,768
and why we never talk about it...
306
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,856
...and what the hell is going on with me.
307
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,819
Why sometimes I feel like
I'm boiling inside.
308
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,115
'Cause maybe...
309
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,415
...I am way more fucked up than I thought.