1
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Dear Missing Diary,
2
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so...
3
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my dad was just like me,
4
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and it destroyed him.
5
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I guess I've got a choice to make.
6
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Either I lock myself away from the world
and just disappear,
7
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let this stuff just destroy me too,
8
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or I could...
9
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...make pancakes instead.
10
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What's the point of letting this shit
get me down?
11
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No way. Not me. Not this time.
12
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- You could just sit there thinkin' ♪
13
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Pancakes are also
a great peace offering...
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Morning.
15
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...for the little brother
who got a black eye
16
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because of your stupid mouth.
17
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Are you drinking coffee?
18
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Yeah. Want some?
19
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Still mad at me?
20
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Well, I mean, it still kinda hurts,
21
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but lucky for you,
22
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Veronica Thompson has a thing
for tough guys.
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She gave me a sticker.
24
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Nice one, Goob.
25
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I'm never washing these pajamas.
26
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Also, made you lunch.
27
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Cut the crusts off the sandwich.
28
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Just wanted to let you know I care.
29
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Are you okay?
30
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Paint me yellow
and call me fucking sunshine, Goob.
31
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I think the key is
when I start to feel upset,
32
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to just decide to give less of a fuck.
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The less of a fuck I give,
the less likely I am to break shit.
34
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Stay positive, Syd.
35
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Problem solved.
36
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Take five, ladies.
37
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I guess we got three more miles.
So much.
38
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-Why'd she make us run so much?
39
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Let's sprint...
40
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I don't think
I've ever seen you run that hard.
41
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In fact, I don't think
I've ever seen you run.
42
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Oh, God, it's the worst.
43
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Scotty, you're in!
44
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Look, about the whole library situation...
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I shouldn't have asked you
to help me steal anything, Dina.
46
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It was stupid.
47
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Truth is, and I-- I know this
is gonna sound crazy, but...
48
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...I sort of had
this, like... hallucination.
49
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-Shit.
-Or something, I don't know.
50
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I was... just freaked out.
51
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I mean,
this is exactly the kind of crazy shit
52
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you should be telling me, Syd.
53
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That's what I'm here for.
54
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I don't get it.
I used to know everything about you.
55
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I even knew what you had for lunch.
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Now it's just, like, nothing.
57
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Well, I guess I should tell you...
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Today... I had an apple
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and some peanut butter and chocolate milk
60
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and, like, three cartons of Nerds.
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- Ahem.
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Uh, Dina...
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Uh, yeah.
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I was thinking,
since you and Brad are, like, whatever,
65
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and the big dance is tonight,
maybe we could--
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Oh, I've decided
to kind of just lay low this year.
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Cool. No worries.
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That's, like, the third person
that's asked me today.
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00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,652
I mean, I'm flattered, but, oh, my God,
I am so over guys right now.
70
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Yeah, me too.
71
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What about Stan?
72
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,161
Stan and I, we're just...
73
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better off as friends.
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You know, if he ever decides
to talk to me again.
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00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,545
You guys aren't going
to homecoming together anymore?
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00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,175
Well...
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any chance you might, uh...
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wanna go with me?
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Unless homecoming's for people like...
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People like what?
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People with... pep.
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Well, I'm pep as fuck today, Dina.
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-Let's do it!
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Wait, we're not dressing up, are we?
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You better bring it, Syd.
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That's right.
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It's homecoming.
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Touchdown!
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You remember, don't you, Dad?
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Crowned king in '91.
91
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They still got my picture
hangin' in the auditorium.
92
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How's that workin' out for you?
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You the big man now?
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Is that what this is?
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Aah!
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Dude, we crushed that game.
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We lost by 28 points.
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Still.
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So, what do you wanna do?
100
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Let's just say that tonight's
gonna be fuckin' mind-blowing.
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Okay.
102
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Wow!
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Syd.
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A dress.
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-Can you help me with the...
-Yeah. Yeah.
106
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...with the buttons in the back?
107
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You know,
108
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the first time your dad and I kissed
was at a school dance.
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-Dad! At a dance?
110
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I know, it's hard to imagine,
but your dad actually had some moves.
111
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,145
It was my sophomore year,
112
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,481
and I-- I went with this senior,
Charlie Murray.
113
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His hair did this amazing swoop thing.
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I'm pretty sure
he used a lot of hair spray.
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Wow, please tell me this ends
in Dad punching this guy in the face.
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Oh, not quite.
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You see, I-- I didn't know
any of Charlie's friends,
118
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and they thought I was
just some dumb sophomore,
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so he ditched me to hang out with them.
120
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And your dad...
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he saw me just standing there all alone,
122
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and he came over,
and he asked me to dance.
123
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Before I said yes,
124
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we just looked at each other and somehow,
125
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we knew.
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All done.
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You look beautiful.
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Thanks.
129
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I've been such a dick.
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Yes, you have.
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It's just...
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I miss him.
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Yeah.
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Me too.
135
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Oh, hey, D.
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Syd'll be a minute,
but, uh, you can come inside.
137
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Have a seat.
138
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Okay.
139
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:58,329
Can I get you somethin'?
Some tea, some coffee?
140
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It's French roast.
141
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Checkin' out my face, huh, D?
142
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Pretty cool, right?
143
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You should see the other guy.
144
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Syd, you...
145
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I brought it, right?
146
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Yeah. Big time.
147
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All right, you two, remember.
148
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No smoking, no drinking,
149
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be home by eight o'clock.
150
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It's 7:45.
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And most importantly, Syd...
152
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Yeah, Goob?
153
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Have fun.
154
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-Okay, so, I have a question.
155
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What's your deepest, darkest secret?
156
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What?
157
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I-- I mean, you know...
158
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Um...
159
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,499
like, do you have any zits
in weird places, or--
160
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Eww! Gross.
161
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:10,628
Yeah.
162
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-Gross.
163
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,597
-Do you want some?
164
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,182
Marijuana is a gateway drug.
165
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:28,145
Uh-huh. And, um...
Okay, what-- what comes next?
166
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,898
Mushrooms, then MDMA,
167
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then cocaine, then crack, then heroin,
168
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then gasoline, huffing it,
169
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then death.
170
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Here's hopin', Mercedes.
171
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-Okay.
172
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-Do you want some punch?
-Sure.
173
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We could-- we could go and dance.
174
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-Uh...
175
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- Okay.
176
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Best theater in town, huh?
177
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,220
I'm pretty sure you specifically said
you weren't coming to this.
178
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I wasn't.
179
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,642
Well, aren't you worried
about being followed?
180
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,187
-No one's following me, Stan.
181
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,397
It was... it was all in my head.
182
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I should've told you I was coming.
183
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,201
--
184
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,660
Syd, I know that we're not...
185
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,915
like, a thing, or together,
or whatever, and that's...
186
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,124
and that's cool, I...
187
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:18,589
-I mean, you gotta know I...
188
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:22,218
-I really like you.
189
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,350
-I really like you too, Stan.
190
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A lot.
191
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,773
Just not in that way.
192
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,326
Yeah. I guess I knew
you'd say that, eventually.
193
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,625
-So who are you here with, anyway?
194
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-Dina.
195
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,427
Well, does she know about you?
196
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,682
-Does she know about me? In what way?
197
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,226
Well, that you're a superhero.
198
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,855
-Right. Right.
199
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:19,233
You're the only one.
200
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,487
-Cool.
201
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,908
-Also, I'm really not a super--
-Just-- just give me this one thing.
202
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:28,909
Please.
203
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,502
Come on.
204
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,474
Stan!
205
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,311
Dina, you look, um...
you look like a Christmas tree.
206
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,979
-Thanks, dude.
-Uh-huh.
207
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,067
Oh, God. Whitaker's still watching us.
208
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,404
It's probably the most exciting thing
that's ever happened in his entire life.
209
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,197
Mm. I don't know, guys.
210
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:10,034
I mean, we're wanted criminals.
Why are we out here in the open?
211
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:13,329
Exposed. First rule of the heist is split
the loot and split the fuck up, right?
212
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,538
What loot?
213
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,249
All we did
was disrespect this fine institution.
214
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,834
- Mm.
-And disrespect ourselves.
215
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,669
- Yes.
216
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,968
Oh, no. On principle, I just-- I can't.
Sorry, this playlist is all over the map.
217
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,470
-I'll-- I'll be back.
-Okay.
218
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,265
Hey, dude, can I request a song?
219
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,892
- Never.
220
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,685
What do you mean,
never heard of Bloodwitch?
221
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:39,063
Do you wanna dance?
222
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,232
Sure.
223
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,327
-Milady.
224
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,501
-So...
225
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,379
We never really talked about
that night at Ricky's.
226
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,882
-Oh.
227
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,427
-Yeah, I-- I-- I'm sorry about that.
228
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,971
No, don't apologize.
229
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,516
I was just... I was wondering
what that kiss was about.
230
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,771
-I just wasn't expecting it.
231
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:21,939
Yeah.
232
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:25,067
I'm really sorry.
233
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,073
Well, it's just,
ever since it happened, I...
234
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,409
-I've been thinking...
235
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,999
-I didn't... not like it.
236
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,584
So you know.
237
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,673
-Oh.
238
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:48,632
Okay.
239
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,552
-So...
240
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,803
So...
241
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:05,816
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
if I may have your attention.
242
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,276
Stop talking. Look up here, please.
243
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,321
It is my privilege to introduce
your homecoming king and queen,
244
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:14,033
Jeff Butters and Julie Frasheski!
245
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,453
What up, Westinghouse!
246
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,079
Yeah! Where my boys at? Whoo!
247
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,706
Where do I begin?
248
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:23,042
I wanna thank my mom
for meeting my dad--
249
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,543
-Listen up!
250
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,795
-...do that! Brad, you can't do that!
-Give me a second.
251
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,088
Give me a second!
252
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,470
I would like to take this moment
253
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,557
to talk about something very important
254
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,059
that affects everyone here.
255
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,687
Sydney Novak!
256
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,773
Hey, Sydney.
257
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:47,775
Raise your hand.
258
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,693
Raise your hand.
259
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,237
Give a wave so everybody can see you.
260
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:58,368
You see, what a lot of people
don't know about Sydney here,
261
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,122
she is one hell of a writer.
262
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,001
What is he talking about?
263
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,341
You know, it's... it's funny,
264
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,594
because everyone is so fast
to call me an asshole,
265
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:20,516
but while I was downstairs
banging Jenny Tuffield at Ricky's...
266
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,645
...guess what Sydney was doing upstairs.
267
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,733
She was kissing my girlfriend.
268
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:36,198
Now, don't get me wrong, chicks get drunk,
269
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,910
they make out sometimes,
and I'm all for it, but...
270
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,329
being a full-on dyke,
271
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,333
that's a whole other ball game.
272
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:51,213
I mean, Syd is fucking in love with Dina.
273
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,800
Page after page, it's absolutely pathetic.
274
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,301
Oh, shut up, Brad.
275
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,428
And, my God,
276
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:02,391
don't even get me started
with the daddy issues on this one.
277
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:06,311
Everyone in her life
thinks that she's a piece of shit.
278
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,105
And I mean everyone.
279
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,983
- Ooh-hoo!
-Hey, man! Leave her alone!
280
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:21,493
But that is not even
the weirdest thing about Sydney...
281
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,578
Shut up!
282
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,537
...Novak.
283
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,713
Fuck!
284
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,006
Shut up. Just shut up.
285
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:34,923
Get this.
286
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,885
-Sydney claims that she has--
- Shut up!
287
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,883
- I tried.
288
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:03,553
-I tried to be normal.
289
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:08,350
-But I'm just not wired that way.
290
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:12,104
Thanks, Dad.
291
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,041
-I didn't mean to...
292
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,545
-I just wanted him to stop talking.
293
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,546
That's all.
294
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:46,555
Maybe I'll just... run away or something.
295
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,391
Hide somewhere,
296
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,227
where no one else can find me.
297
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,271
Ever.
298
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:58,859
I think I finally understand
how lonely my dad must have felt.
299
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:06,742
Who are you?
300
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,414
Should I be afraid?
301
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,791
They should be afraid.
302
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,254
Let's begin.